things never seen(xixi630)

omg

i didn;t write any jornals for almost two month

many of times i wanna write something, but for some reason i did not

maybe i was too lazy or maybe just dont know how to wrote that many things

i will be back in school in a week

really exited , because i was kind of missed campus , my friends there, and my honey justin.

look back from now on, i am already a 20 years old big girl.

but i still fight with my mom and think akward soemtimes. is that because something might never changed? i doubt

when i was fight with my mom yesterday, tony told me there is no right or wrong in family issue.

although i didn;t pay much attention at that time, but i felt after i think carefully that  might be the truth.

and i was really wondering what will be like after 5 or 10 years. maybe everything changed or maybe everything be the same

and am i gonna make wrong decision or am i gonna passed all the hardness and be the brave and successful one?

maybe thats a question mark

but no matter what i turned to, i will always be the same family i was in and will.

thats life...hehehhe....

i will stop here today,

i miss all of my friends in china. i hope see u guys next year...

zhang xi (chelsea)

 

hehhehe

like usually stay at home and doing whatever i wanna

wake up when i feel like, take a shower and eat some milk tea.

and study a little bit and listen the music i love.

stay on MSN and check any movie to watch

oh...yeah ..dont forget to practice paino and pool

hehheeh........

thats my normal day at home.

i hope i can work soon, because is really kind of boring stay home like stay.

i will start working next week at victeria's secret. i am really exited and being study their's bra manual ..hehehhe

anyway nice day

 

over the rainbow, skies are blue, my dream place.

i really like this song, i just felt so relax when i hear it everytime.

like my mood. i feel so much better this few days.

i am not gonna give up anything, i have to fight with myself also life everyday.

i just finished watching a movie called " shattered heart". It is a story that talks about a love story between two teenagers. But is differnet than the usual movie. Its a touch movie that shows how much the two loves each other, even when the guy got cancer, the girl is always on his side until the last minute the guy left her. even the guy dead, but i believe he is at a better place watching the girl and hope she have a happy life. i remember he said to her." no one can tell u your dream are big or small." just trust yourself, and do the things u wanna do. "i will be with u, and i will love you the rest of my life." but i am pretty sure he will loves her even when he left her in this world.

but what i felt is not only how strong their love is, but also i felt everything have to have some challenge, like their love. if the guy didn;t had cancer, maybe they will like other people. being together for a while, and then break up or being together the rest of life. But because the "devil-cancer", make both of them strong, also make the relationship unbreak.

 

i dont expect i will have a love story like that, i also realize i should cherish the people around me, i should be appreciated what i had now. the friends i had, the family i had, and lots of more.

 

dont be sad after reading all of this,heheheh......life is great, lets smile until tomorrow and the bext tomorrow and tomorrow.....

 

find the rainbow, blue birds fly.

its been a few days after my summar break

i checked my grade for the semester....its really bad, worse than what i thought

i am kind of disappointed of myself. I dont know if i can still accomplish my goal i made for my self

i feel like shit the whole day. i dont know how to talk to my mom, i feel bad i didn;t do good in school with my mom and my step dad paid the expensive tuition this year...

But i guess sad is not the way to solve the problem..

what i should do now is to figure out the next step instead of complaining myself..

i should do something ......

for this summar i want to find a job at the mall, work with more people. also i want to borrow some book to read to increase my knowledge, and to solid myself.

it 11 o'clock right now...

justin still didn;t called, hope he is savety home....

 

i am also kind od sad because i can not go back to china this summar, i missed my friends in china a lot, also my family. i hope they are ok and happy everyday. everyone is trying to find their ways for the future. what our future will like, i dont know. but i hope everyone i know is happy, and will get the love they are trying to find the whole time.

i have so much i want to write, but i dont know where to start and where to stop...

maybe i will just go to bed...

everyone good night

 

maybe tomorrow is going to be a good day..

 

chel

anyway i hope everyone have a great summar

today is only wedsday

but i feel so tired and stress, because the chemistry lab and i feel i am gonna be sick this weekend

i dont know...just dont feel that good about everything...

but i am running position for ASU, so i can have some experience for applying Pharmacy school...

go to the mall this friday....and watch more korean dramas,,like always..heheh

anyway hope everyone is happy ....dont be sick like me...

c ya

chelsea

想想已经有段日子没有来写日记了..

也许是想说的太多..也或许是不能在这说..

自从放了春假回来心就踏实不下来,很负遭...

岁学习和生活都是一样..

最近因为在说心哩学所以有时候经常会联系到自己..

我们的年龄是找寻自己的年龄...自己认为张大了..

但是也许还差的远把...

有一件特别另我高兴的事情就是结识到一个北京女孩..

真的挺佩服她的..能力真的是比一般人强很多...听到她的故事,觉得自己的童年很干净...

也许这就是我一直不能张大的原因把..

若男在一年里考上的北京, 考了GRE, 还申请到了美国的大学..

如果是我..也许一件都做不好..

不是自己没信心..而是实话实说..哈......

真的是有太多太多的话想说了...

想说感情的事情....对于感情, 我真的是有些麻木了...不知道自己的目标, 也不知道什么时候才能找到..

也许时机还没到把...

下星期有个舞会..许多我的朋友都会去..所以很期待...那天要打扮的漂漂亮亮的....和大家好好的玩上一天...然后迎接期末考试

好了...写了不少了..要去复习数学了..下星期有两个考试...

加油

 

 

今天是２００５年的最后一天了

时间飞矢啊．．．都要２００６年了．．．马上自己要２０岁了．．

天啊．．．真是不承认自己长大了也不行啊．．．

自从上了大学．．离开了家人自己生活．．一切都变了

什么都要想．．什么都要自己处理．．．也没有人可以那样的依靠．．

以前总是说父母很烦．．可真的离开了才知道后悔．．以前说了多少让父母伤心难过的话

在大学的这半年．．天天都要和妈妈通话．．觉得是我一天的一部分．．．

这半年也尝试到了什么叫独立．．．真的很难．．

但是现在想想也没有那么坏．．．这就是人和动物的区别．．

不管困难多大．．人总是能找到办法解决．．记得别人说或＂困难在多．．总有解决的办法＂

是啊．．．不管以后有多少困难．．只要相信自己．．一定能克服．．战胜一切．．

我对未来真的是很期待．．

希望在新的一年里．．．大家都快快乐乐．．．为自己的理想而努力．．．加油．．